Rose Cat's Rambles

I am in the middle of trying to sell off most of the birds I hatched. Everybody and their brother wanted some ducklings after easter weekend. A month later, no one who wanted one showed up at my yard sale. You can't give them away for half the price they're worth. I made a posting on craigslist over a month ago. They were 2 weeks old, I was desperate because they were eating me out of house and home. 4 a piece or 30 for the whole lot of 10. I lose the posting because fucking yahoo deletes things that you don't check to highlight but unfuckinghelpfully highlights for you, and you are still hitting the delete button to remove what you did highlight. You check 4 emails out of 30 and hit delete. Nothing happens for 2 minutes. You click it again, and again, and again. 2 minutes after that, Yahoo says "Oh, you're trying to delete something? Let me delete that for you, then highlight the next email for no fucking reason, because you wanted me to highlight it, right? Also, you hit the delete button more than once, so I'm going to assume you wanted me to delete all those emails I highlighted for you after you deleted those original 4, despite not knowing I was going to highlight them for you. Good luck noticing if you weren't paying attention, because as soon as you leave, now is when I will empty your trash bin, despite letting it build for over a week." 4 weeks later, I post again saying 5 a piece or 40 for the whole lot. A week after that, some asshole says "So, yeah, I'll take the whole lot for 27 and will be there tomorrow." One of my birds got injured, so I told him it wasn't for sale anymore before he mentioned price. This asshole saw I had 2 fucking postings, the only difference aside from price and age listings, was that I didn't use the same pic. They were older, I'm tired of taking pics, so I left it off the new listing. It was the same god damn posting, right down to the opening line 10 ducks for sale. This son of a bitch thought I would take $3 a duck after an additional 4 weeks of growth/feeding/care. They are $5 a duck in the damn store at 1-2 weeks. I stated clearly that they were older and it would be more in the craigslist posting, but he chose to use the old one deliberately. I told him, Sorry, they are older, so the price went up, I lost the old control post and couldn't remove it. He told me Sorry, not interested any more. I almost told him, go suck Mama June's syphillis ridden rotted cunt. That's twice someone tried offering me shit for my birds. The first time, someone wanted them plus my other birds 20 total, for $2 a piece and I was already asking a discounted 60 for the whole lot, down from 80+ if you bought them individually.

The fucking greed of some god damn people. I need that money for fucking feed. Every dime I've made plus more from my mom has gone to them because I can't fucking sell them. These ducks have 2 more weeks to sell, then they are going to be slaughtered. I've sunk 100 fucking dollars into these god damn birds in the past 2 months. I have a food bill of 60 every 2 months my egg money pays for if I don't spend it on shopping because I feel I deserve a chance to go yardsaling every once in a while since I don't get to do anything else.

The birds are producing less, so I had to grow another crop of babies. Last year's lot turned out to be roosters or died. The ones we got from the store or hatched spring of 2014 (feb-march) don't lay very well or are small eggs despite being egg manufacturing breeds. It's just terrible. On top of that, I have 5 broody hens that won't sit on an egg to hatch it. They keep killing the banty eggs I give them, I dunno how, don't care. I'm can't let them sit on eggs, as they block my nesting boxes. I'm just about to slaughter 3 of them because they are shit fucking layers anyways. But, they are separated in my banty pen, right now, so, we'll see.

Now, details on the arm and this anxiety. I know you said it's fear of sleeping and fear of taking your meds, but what exactly scares you, hon?