Jack Harkness Trivia

[rose_cat]

Ganked from sollersuk, and best read while under the influence of Torchwood Gutter Mind (TGM).

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Jack Harkness!

1. The original nineteenth-century Coca-Cola formula contained Jack Harkness!
2. Jack Harkness can clean his ears with his tongue, which is over thirty-nine inches long.
3. Jack Harkness can live for up to a week without a head.
4. About one tenth of Jack Harkness is permanently covered in ice.
5. Jack Harkness has little need for water and is capable of going for months without drinking at all.
6. Jack Harkness was first discovered by Alexander the Great in India, and introduced to Europe on his return.
7. 99 percent of the pumpkins sold in the US end up as Jack Harkness!
8. Fifty-two percent of Americans drink Jack Harkness.
9. If the annual Australian Jack Harkness crop was laid end to end, it would stretch around the world seven times!
10. Jack Harkness can remain conscious for fifteen to twenty seconds after being decapitated.

I am interested in - do tell me aboutherhimitthem

ETA: jo02's done one for Ianto at her LJ. Go and snigger!

Comments

[ice-elf.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha! Thats great! That solves some of my questions about what would happen if Jack was decapitated. :P

Although, I just tried the same for Ianto and...

'Ianto Jones will give a higher yield if milked when listening to music.'

I think that's about the filthiest I've seen yet. :P

[rose-cat.livejournal.com]

That was quick! Yes, some of them were strangely appropriate. I tried to get more, though, and it always came out the same :(

The Ianto Jones one is awesomely dirty :) Are you going to post his? Dooo eeet!

[wraithkeeper.livejournal.com]

If you change the names just a bit you'll get different answers. Try using only first names or adding "Mr" or "Captain" before the names. Then you'll get more brilliant gems like "About 100 people choke to death on Mr Ianto Jones each year!"

[rose-cat.livejournal.com]

I'll have to try that, thanks :)

[jo02]

My bad, I read #4 and completely didn't see the 'a'!
So yeah, my mind was totally in the gutter ... well, it is Jack Harkness after all!

[rose-cat.livejournal.com]

Did you mean #3? Because...*mind falls in gutter right next to yours*

[jo02]

Yes - of course I did!
Lying in the gutter I was too far away to read the numbers properly!
I did one for Ianto ... follow me back to my journal ...

[rose-cat.livejournal.com]

Coming! (no, not like that...damn TGM XD )

[birkentree.livejournal.com]

Wait. We have a Jack Harkness crop down here?


WHERE?!?

[rose-cat.livejournal.com]

You tell me :) Let's hope it isn't eaten by kangaroos or rabbit -- oh shit, I just thought of the "eating alien meat" joke.

*mind falls into gutter again*

[jovialien.livejournal.com]

Oh that is just BRILLIANT!! 2 and 8 I just lost it at!! XD

[rose-cat.livejournal.com]

Thanks! And Captain Jack Harkness is Captain of the Innuendo Squad, after all :D

[wraithkeeper.livejournal.com]

These are brilliant! I love 3 (which I read without the "a") and 8 best. And if Jack had a 39 inch tongue, he wouldn't be using it to clean his ears ;)

I did some of these myself and came up with...

Only fifty-five percent of men wash their hands after using Captain Jack.

Astronauts get taller when they are in Ianto.

[rose-cat.livejournal.com]

You're the second commenter to read 3 without the "a." It does make more sense that way :D And Jack's tongue...this is almost as good as PWP, isn't it?

And your results...*falls over laughing*

[(Anonymous)]

For both:
"Jack and Iantolatry is the mindless worship of Jack and Ianto" I loved this one.
My favorite for Ianto "It's bad luck to put Mr. Ianto Jones on a bed!" (Well, that explains the hothouse)
For jack:"Jack is incapable of sleep" (now isn't that familiar) "It takes 17 muscles to smile, and 43 to frown at Jack." "Tradition allows women to propose to Captain Jack only during leap years!" (Damn!)and the dirty minded
"The deepest part of Jack is over 35,000 feet deep" (OMG.)

[rose-cat.livejournal.com]

Omigod, those are priceless XD

"Jack and Iantolatry is the mindless worship of Jack and Ianto."

Hmm, I know a few anti-J/Iers who'd take that seriously!

[teef-chan.livejournal.com]

Heheh, those are amusing xD

[rose-cat.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it!